These Dang Crutches!

There are only 29 days left to go now of wearing this ankle cast.  Unless of course, the doctor decides I need to be casted longer after my return visit next month.  My biggest struggle so far has been with these dang crutches!

I’ve already been online looking for some kind of alternative to traditional crutches, and there isn’t anything that doesn’t cost a fortune or wouldn’t be just as much of an aggravation.  The last time I used crutches was in college, and that was only for a few days while my ankle (can’t remember which one) was wrapped in an Ace bandage.  I had turned it playing basketball, and had to fly back to college 1,000 miles from home on a set of crutches.  My mother cried when I got on the plane with the dang things.  Of course, my mother always cried.  Always.

Anyway, when I first started using these crutches I thought, “How in the world am I going to carry anything?”  I’m always carrying something from one point of the house to another, and then to the car, to some other destination, etc.  It’s amazing how many things I transport during the course of one day without even realizing it!  What in the world am I going to do?  Will I have to resort to asking someone to carry things for me a gazillion times a day?  Then it dawned on me:  I have a backpack!  I immediately hooked into the shoulder straps and was in business.  Now I can carry bottles of water, my iPhone, books, laundry, etc.  All kinds of things will fit into it.  My backpack is my friend.

So far I’ve managed to do all sort of cool stuff in the 24 hours I’ve been plagued with these wooden devices of torture.  I’ve taken them with me in the car and made my way into a local drugstore looking for a better model.  Go figure.  I spend all sorts of energy to go to a store trying to reinvent the wheel.  No success.  Then I go to the church and make my way up the steps to my study, just to prove to myself I could.  I then navigated across the church building and down more stairs to get ready for a Bible study tonight.  Even though there was no else in the building and I will have plenty of help for this evening, I had to prove to myself I could do it alone.  Then I came back up the stairs I went down, return to my office, and plop down in my chair with perspiration beading on my forehead.  Have I had enough of this self-inflicted hardship?  No way — I’m sweating for the first time since I’ve been injured!  It’s a workout, so I savor it, catch my breath, then make my way back down the steps, through the outer door, across the walkway in the rain, to my vehicle.

On the way home I thought about stopping at the grocery store as I would normally do, but didn’t have the nerve to use one of the motorized shopping carts.  At least I didn’t have the nerve yet.  I’ll probably do it in the next couple of days, because grocery shopping has been one things I do to contribute to household chores.  I am determined to do my share of the work regardless.

Upon arriving home, being as tired as I was, I fell down upon the bed and drifted to sleep with my iPhone on silent.

Of course, while I am dreaming of life without my two new constant companions, my dear wife tried to call me.  When I didn’t answer she feared the worst, envisioning me unconscious in a mangled heap at the bottom of a flight of stairs with crutches on top of me. I finally returned her call and all is well.  I should say all is well until it comes time for the second shower ordeal tonight.  Did you ever try to take a shower with a cast on your leg without getting the cast wet?    Did you ever try to step into a shower while wearing a cast?  Did you ever try to do it alone? It’s not a pretty picture, so I’ll spare you the details in this public blog.  I could just take a sponge bath, but that would be too easy.  Besides, there is nothing quite like a hot shower, even if there is a plastic bag tightly tied to one leg.

For the time being I’m pretty content in my home office chair, but two sentries are right here by my side.  They remind me that when I rise from my comfort, the fun starts all over again.  The maneuvering, the juggling, the navigating through doorways and around furniture until I reach my destination.  Then once I get there, the question comes to mind once again, “What am I going to do with these dang crutches?”


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